Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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