Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We are all done wearing pants today
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had to cum in my sink.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
