im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize