he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
