those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
