last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
