Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
