feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
