did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
