I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
