I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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