I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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