Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
