bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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