Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
