but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It all started with a game of naked twister.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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