i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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