Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
