Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just googled if crying burns calories
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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