It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
