she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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