We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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