Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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