the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
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it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
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The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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