She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
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Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
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Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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