Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize