I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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