well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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