u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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