I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
