its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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