We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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