That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i came on her dog
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
