Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
