YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
