I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
