Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize