Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
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The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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