Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
