Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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