my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm like, not good at living.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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