we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize