I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
