either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
