I need help removing her.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
