I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
