he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
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Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What drink are we having for lunch?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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