i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
