My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You made out with two different species that night
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
