I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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