i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize