the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
