I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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