I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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