Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
love makes seman taste better
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
