You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My balls are so social today.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you made out with another girl for some wings
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
