do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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