You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize