btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
