The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
