if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
