Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
