sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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