hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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