i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
