You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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