none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
North Korea, Best Korea!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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