i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
