Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
