Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
