Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
